An interview with Andris Bear

I’m part of a blog chain with Heart of Carolina Romance Writers. The assignment was to have one of my own characters interrogate, er, interview me.  The first part of my post describes my character, followed by the interview. I hope you enjoy!

(Part one)

My interviewer today is Joey Benton, the heroine of my paranormal romance, Angel Unborn. As a half-breed angel, she wants nothing to do with Heaven or Hell. Until she comes face to face with her Grigori protector, Ursus, a forbidden Archangel.

Unlike many other characters, Joey is fully aware I’ve written her into existence. As she took on a life of her own from page one, this knowledge doesn’t faze her. The line dividing fact from fiction is fine, and she crosses into both worlds with ease.

*Disclaimer—I have little control over her mouth or actions. I take no responsibility for anything she says or does here.

(Part two)

I suggested Starbucks for our meeting. The one thing we share in common is an adoration for coffee. After I offered up the location—with the offer to buy her java–she agreed. And hung up the phone.

Should be interesting.

I arrive first and choose a corner table, allowing me to keep an eye on the entrance. And the other patrons. Not that I’m frightened, mind you. I just know what’s out there.

I settle in my seat just as Joey strolls through the door wearing jeans tighter than Joan River’s face. A pink tank shows off her toned arms.

But what catches my eye is the sword at her hip.

I sputter and wheeze at the displayed weapon, shooting covert glances at several customers. No one seems alarmed.

“Joey! How’s it going?” The young man behind the counter waves at her. “You want the usual?”

“You know it, Bri.” She gives him a flirty wink, damn near sending the kid into convulsions. Clueless as to her effect on him, she waves him off, bee-lining straight for me.

I try not to fidget. Or stare.

I fail at both.

She stops at the table, gives me a once over. “You the writer?” Her gray eyes pierce as thoroughly as the blade at her hip.

I nod and say the first thing that comes to mind. “You’re wearing a sword.”

Brilliant. We’re off to a great start.

“Dagger too.” She swivels, showing me a long knife on her other hip.

I suck in a sharp breath. “Have you done lost your mind?” My bark attracts some unwanted attention.  Leaning forward, I hiss, “You can’t bring that in here!”

She slides into the wooden chair opposite me. “Relax. No one sees them but you.”

“Relax? You wanna get arrest—wait. You can do that?”

She drapes an arm over the back of the chair next to her. “Sure. I’ve learned lots of new tricks since….” She shrugs. “Where are your weapons?”

“I wasn’t aware we’d be stabbing someone today. I usually prefer my coffee without bloodshed.”

At her bland look, I roll my eyes and mutter, “We’re at Starbucks, Joey.”

“We’re at war.” She crosses her arms and considers me. “What’s with all the demons, anyway?”

“Uh, like why do I write about them?”

“No.” Her lip curls. “Like why are there so many of the dirty bastards lately. They’re like door-to-door salesmen from Hell. You kill one and another just pops up to take its place.”

More demons? Oh that’s not friggin good. I didn’t write more demons. Where’d they come from? Who let them out?

And who the crap is writing this circus?

Rubbing a chill from my arms, I offer her half-hearted smile. “Well, thank you for meeting me. I understand you’re busy.”

“Like a cheap hooker on prom night,” she agrees.

“Oh. Well. That’s pretty busy.” I’ve yet to add prostitute to my resume, so I’m guessing here.

Her laughter rings through the café. “So, about this interview. What am I supposed to ask you?”

I lean back in the chair, studying her. “If I give you the questions, I may as well interview myself.”

“That would’ve saved time.” She places her elbows on the table with a sigh and rests her face in her palms. “So, why romance? You seem better suited to horror given the story you wrote for me.”

Now it’s my turn for an eye roll. “Oh please. Your story is full of passion, sexual tension and romance. Sure there were a few bumps along the way, but I wanted you to be happy.”

“Happy?” Her eyes narrow. I feel like a squirrel in the crosshairs of a semi-truck.

She leans forward until the table’s edge stops her progress. “You dragged me to Hell and sent an Incubus to snack on my as—”

“I also sent an angel to protect you.” I mimic her posture, pushing forward until our faces are inches apart.  “An Angel, I might add, you fell head over heels for.”

Her face pinches, and I think she’ll argue, but she lets out a huffy puff of air. Her lips turn up. “My angel is super fine, isn’t he?”

Oh praise Jesus! On a scale of one to ten, he’s a 37. “Yeah. He’s attractive,” I say, unwilling to admit he’s blasphemy-worthy delicious.

In the next second, she shoots to her feet, knocking the chair to the tile floor with a bang. She spins to the window faster than I can blink, each hand curling around the hilt of a blade.

My first thought was I should’ve packed a spare pair of panties.

My second? No more meet & greets with my characters!

After my pulse drops back down to warp speed, I track her gaze to the window.

A young woman stands before the shop, clutching a grocery sack to her chest. In her other hand, she holds the chubby fingers of a piggy-tailed toddler. They stand talking to an elderly gentleman. He seems quite taken with the little girl. Reaching out, he “pulls” a penny from her ear, eliciting a fresh round of giggles.

He offers her the coin.

I smile, remembering a time when my own children could be so easily delighted.

The little girl holds out her hand. Her eyes twinkle with anticipation.

A growl, full of menace and warning sounds from across the table.

Startled, my gaze jerks back to Joey. “What? She likes the old man.”

“That’s no old man.” Her lips peel back with a snarl. Then she vanishes into thin air.

I freeze—as if playing statue will dilute the fact that a woman just pulled a Copperfield.

So much for subtle.

And my interview.

Please stop by the other participant’s blogs where you’ll find some great interviews!

6/6: Aimee Laine :
6/8: Lyla Dune :
6/10: Carol Strickland :
6/12: Amy Corwin :
6/14: Lilly Gayle :
6/16: Rebekkah Niles :
6/18: Laura Browning :
6/20: Andris Bear :
6/22: Marcia Colette :
6/24: Nancy Badger :
6/26: Sarah Mäkelä :
6/28: Jennifer Harrington :
6/30: Scott Berger :


11 thoughts on “An interview with Andris Bear

  1. Ha! What a great interview! Your character sounds very funny as well as strong and confident. Clearly she has her priorities. 🙂 So glad you participated and we learned a little about you too. I, too, have not attempted the cheap prostitute after a prom gig. Probably won’t either. 😉

  2. Loved this, Andris. Great interview and an inspiration. I really must allow my characters to interview me…only I’m thinking I might just bring along a weapon.

    I really must read this book. Joey sounds like just my kind of heroine.

    Lucie j.

  3. Thank you for the compliments, ladies! And definitely thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! Yes, my character is a little bit (like a whole lot) type A. And very snarky. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the interview!

  4. Love this interview,Andris! Shows your wit and entertaining style! And you know how much I love Joey and her snarky nature. lol!Can’t wait to read the final chapters of your WIP and I’m looking forward to seeing this great story in print.

  5. Thanks Gayle! I can’t wait to give you the final honking chapters! I’m dying to pass them to you so I can kick them out the door! lol! Thank you for posting, CP! 😉

  6. LOL!! “My first thought was I should’ve packed a spare pair of panties. My second? No more meet & greets with my characters!” You have such a wonderful way with dialog and description. I laughed through this whole “interview”. (Glad I set my coffee down first.) Nothing like putting together Hell, Heaven, Humor and Heat to make for an original and irresistible story idea!

  7. Andris, this was way too funny! I love the way you weaved humor and imagery. “Squirrels in the crosshairs of a semi” had me laughing loud enough our secretary gave me a curious look. I will definitely be reading your stories in the future. Thanks for being so entertaining!

  8. Jennifer, I’m glad to know you didn’t scald or choke yourself with the coffee. lol! And I’m tickled you enjoyed my “interview.”
    Scott, I’m sorry your secretary gave you a curious look, but so happy you enjoyed the read! ;}
    Thank you both for stopping by for the quick read!

  9. Okay, not sure why I came up anonymous on my own website, but that’s technology for you. lol.
    A great big thank you to Aimee for reading my blog post and allowing me to participate in the chain.
    An equally big thanks Lucie, Lilly, Jennifer & Scott for taking the time to read the post, and leaving such wonderful compliments. It means a great deal coming from fellow writers! Thank you!

  10. Mmmm, I love a story with sexy angels… Loved your interview. Sounds like Joey’s a dangerous girl to talk to – even in a Starbucks! And I’m glad I’m not the only author to turn around and discover that my characters started getting into more mischeif on their own. 😉

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