A Mother’s Day post

In honor of Mother’s Day, I share a past Mother’s Day blog post. Enjoy!

Are you raising a boy? Did he wear your crotch as the world’s tightest sombrero while you labored to birth him for three #$%#ing hours?

If you answered yes to either question, then my condolences. You’ve already played Chromosomal Roulette and lost. I know, I played too. And let me assure you it’s a lifelong punch to the ovaries.

Gone are the dreams of pink ruffles and sequined lace, wrapped all pretty with a shiny ribbon. Sure, you ordered another double X, but that inbred stork delivered a big, bold Y.

Not to worry, I shot that bastard out of the sky.

It seems harsh, I know, but I tell you this out of love, to prepare you for the stark reality of boy raising. Believe me, it’s better to start this adventure armed.

You have a boy. He has a penis.

Catching on yet?

Take this scenario–> It’s…

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